My phone rang , interrupting my show, I reached over to the controller hit pause and glanced down to my phone. The screen read "momma" I pressed the green answer button only to hear my mom on the other side of the phone telling me all the chores that needed to be done before she got home. "Laundry, dishes, bathrooms, vacuum..." the list seemed to go on and on, the chore list soon turned into a lecture, my mind began to wander.
How are we here? Are we alive? Is this all a dream? What happens when we die? Are there aliens? How did we get here; evolution or god? Who started all of this? How have we come so far? Is there ghosts? If so are they real? When you die do you stay in the ground? Or does your spirit go off into the after life? Do you come back alive? Reincarnation? Angels? Demons? What is real and what is fake? Why are there so many questions and so few answers? Why can't we live forever? How have we found out what we already know? Is there other living organisms on other planets? Why are we all so different? Why do we all have different perspectives on things? Why do we have emotions? Why do we have cancer and autism? Do come animals have those things? How are some people gifted with great talents and others with none? Why are some people gorgeous and some ugly? How can gravity keep us all on our feet? What makes our planet different than others? How come nothing in life is promised except death? Why is death the only thing we all have in common? What happens when you die? Why is there more war than peace? Why is there so much war? Why do people have great imaginations? Why am I so far from perfection? Why is there jealousy? Why must people cheat and lie? Why are something's "fake" and what makes them fake? Why do we dream at night? What causes our dreams? Why do some people laugh at different things? Am I funny? Do people like me? Will robots rule the world one day? Why are some people so outgoing and some so shy? Why are there drugs? What makes people think it is okay to kill other people? Or abuse others? Why are some people so mean? How can you not feed your animals and kids? Why are some people so b*tchy? What happened in there life that makes people like that? Why does the sun come up everyday at the same time and the earth rotates? How does that happen so perfectly? Why are some people filthy rich and some so poor? Why do people act like other people? Why can't people be who they are? Why do people judge? Why can't we be like avatars? Or what if we are? What if people are controlling our bodies? What If our whole planet existed on someone else's thumb nail? What if we had a hero, like superman and he was president? What if we had villains, and instead of robberies and rapes we dealt with these villains who tried to take over out planet? Do animals have their own little societies? Do they have their own friends like we do? Why is it your heart that aches when someone dies? How do we move out fingers? When you dont even think about it? What if every time that you wanted to move your fingers you has to say outloud "Move Thumb."? Am I alive?.... "KELSEY!, KELSEY!" my mom shouted into the phone.. "are you listening to me?" she asked. "yes mom" I replied.
"what were you doing Kelsey?"
"I was doing nothing mom, keep going."....
I love your story. I think its really relatable to many people. Warm comment: all the questions made it feel like we were part of your thought process.
ReplyDeleteI like how you never directly stated what "nothing" was and it seemed like the piece itself explained that your "nothing" is pondering all these questions. I also liked that sometimes questions led one into the other in sort of a chain.
ReplyDeleteAs interesting as this was for me to read personally, because I do ask some of these questions myself and some are newer and interesting, you probably could have broken up the question section a bit more. It felt like it went anecdote, big chunk of questions, anecdote. Maybe you could split the question section up a bit more, group smaller questions together and then more complicated questions and stuff, maybe throw in a few answers so that you're not just asking all these questions that won't be answered.
I like this story. The questions that you wrote are similar to what I think. So, good job using relatable questions. An improvement would be to maybe say what your nothing is. I understood it, but some people might not get it.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good story, yet dragged on. There are unnecessary questions that could betaken out. I find that there are too many questions in this piece that can be simply answered. There is just no "breathing room" between questions. Try replacing questions like why does the earth rotate with, transitions between one question to the next. Does one question lead to another, and so on? If so how?
ReplyDeleteso i really liked the dozens and dozens of questions since it was kinda funny how many questions there were. I also felt that to make this piece more significant add your own ideas to some questions and how you feel on certain things
ReplyDeleteI liked this whole piece because of the questions. Yet i agree with Zac on the it was dragged out. The detail was great and the anecdote was awesome (: i loved it!
ReplyDeleteI love the ending of you story because it connected with the beginning. I also like your final line because it suggests that your "nothing" is asking philosophical questions rather than stating it overtly. To improve your essay, you could break up the middle a little bit by add in a few sentences to create variety. Good job. Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteYour story was very good, I absolutely love the questions, the only thing that I can suggest to do better is at the beginning to have a smoother transition to all your questions. Overall excellent piece :)
ReplyDelete